Everyone loves the Grinch, because it’s a story that’s relatable.
If you love Christmas, you can relate to the gleeful little freaks down in Whoville.
If you’re a fan of strange meats, mmm, that Roast Beast sounds good.
If you hate Christmas, or if you’re green, you can relate to the Grinch.
The only people who can’t relate are those whose hearts can’t grow once they learn about the joy of Christmas. But there's probably some sort of medication they can take for that.
What you might not know is that the Grinch we all love isn’t the original. In fact, there were a bunch of other drafts before old Seuss landed on the final version of the Grinch. Here they are.
The Grunch
The Grunch is a heavy drinker. And the whole “stealing Christmas” ordeal is just a drunken mistake. But instead of his heart growing three sizes, his liver does.
The Gwaunch
The Gwaunch has four arms, which allows him to flip off the Who's in Whoville double the amount of times.
The Binch
The Binch, or the Bunny Grinch, is perfectly fine with Christmas. But he despises Easter. He dresses up as a bunny and steals the eggs and chocolates. The story didn't test as well in Eastertime markets.
The Grynch
The Grynch is a snootier version of the Grinch. He thinks the Christmas decorations the Who’s have are tacky, so he rips everything down and redecorates the town in muted earth tones.
The Granch
In this one, everyone in Whoville is evil, and the Granch is the only one trying to keep Christmas alive. On Christmas Eve, the whole town raids the Granch’s cave and drags him to the town square.
Then they put him in a pillory and make him watch as they burn a Granch effigy made out of all of his presents. Then they eat his dog. The moral of this one was “don’t live in a Who neighborhood.”
The Glinch
The Glinch has a gun, and he's not afraid to use it. He doesn't sneak around stealing the presents—he barges in and makes his presence known. The story ends in a standoff with the Whoville PD as the Glinch holds Cindy-Lou Who hostage.
The Gronch
The story of the Gronch is word for word the same as the Grinch. The only difference is that he wears pants. It’s unclear why Dr. Seuss took them off for the final design.
The Grench
The Grench is a wench version of the Grinch. For Christmas, she spreads chlamydia all throughout Whoville.
