—Well, here we are in the 1800s. I think it’s about time we write the first American History textbook.
—I think that’s a swell idea. That way schoolchildren can learn about the major events that led to the development of our country.
—Perfect. We should probably flesh out who the major players are. Let’s start with George Washington?
—Gotta include him. First president and all.
—Yep. Oh, and Benjamin Franklin.
—Most definitely.
—And of course we have to include Johnny Appleseed. Every school-aged child needs to learn about Johnny Appleseed.
—What?
—Johnny Appleseed. Write it down.
—I’m not sure I’m following. Who is that?
—You don’t . . . pfft, you don’t know about Johhny Appleseed? Roamed around planting apple trees?
—Is that a person?
—Definitely.
—And he’s influential?
—Yes.
—As influential as George Washington or Benjamin Franklin?
—Probably more so. In fact, if it comes down to it, take them out of the book and leave in Johnny Appleseed.
—Tell me more about him. What makes him so important?
—Well, for starters, he roamed around planting apple trees. I told you that, right?
—Right.
—And he was always barefoot. That’s important. We have to make sure everyone knows he didn’t wear shoes.
—Why is that important?
—And he wears a pot on his head. That’s his other thing. Apple seeds, no shoes, and he wears a pot on his head.
—Wears a pot on his head . . . like you are right now?
—Huh, didn’t notice that.
—Are those apple seeds falling out of your pocket?
—What? No, those are just . . . those are just some other seeds I must have picked up or something.
—Mr. Chapman, are you Johnny Appleseed?
—Make sure to include the fact that he was ruggedly handsome.
