—Gee, I sure hate farming.
—Heh, it’s the worst isn’t it. Breaking our backs out in these fields. Gotta do it though, right?
—I was actually thinking about that. What if I didn’t have to do it? All that back breaking work.
—I’m not tracking. How would you get food?
—Maybe I’d take some of yours.
—I don’t grow enough food to feed both of us.
—Maybe I’d take a little bit from you, a little bit from someone else. Basically a little bit of everyone’s food.
—I’m not sure how that’s fair.
—Or maybe I’d take a lot from everyone. Enough that I could have giant feasts every night.
—Hmm.
—Just a thought.
//
—Say old man, I like that cane you have.
—It’s just an old stick I found. I need it to walk.
—It gives me an idea. What if I had a cane that was fancy and encrusted with jewels. That’d be neat.
—I suppose so. Do you need it to walk?
—No, I’d just hold it to look powerful. A nice, expensive cane. What would you call something like that?
—I don’t know, maybe ‘scepter’ would be a good word for it?
—Scepter? I like it. I’ve gotta find someone to make me a scepter.
//
—Hey, how do you like these little huts we’re living in?
—I don’t know. Place to sleep I guess.
—What if instead of a hut, there was a giant castle to live in. With dozens of rooms.
—How would that get built?
—It’d be a community effort. Everyone would spend, I don’t know, all day and night building it until it was done.
—I guess that could be good. It might be nice if we all lived in a big castle.
—Hold up, I was thinking I would be the only one living in the big castle.
—Where would the rest of us live?
—I guess you’d stay in the huts.
—What are the extra rooms in the castle for then?
—Oh you know, leisure activities, guests, mistresses. You get it.
//
—Did you hear there’s an army coming to raid our village?
—I did. Looks like we’re going to have to fight.
—I was thinking, what if instead of us all having to fight, everyone except for me did.
—What would you do then?
—I’d basically sit back here and hope it all goes well. And then when the fight’s over I’d be in charge of saying ‘good job’ to anyone who did some good fighting. Maybe if you fight really well, you get to stay in the castle for a night or something.
—What castle?
—You haven’t heard? People are talking about building me a castle. I don’t know. I’m sure someone will give you the details.
//
—How do you feel about these coins we’re using for money?
—They’re fine, I suppose. If you work hard you can earn a lot of them.
—Yeah, you’re right. But I was thinking, what if instead of earning them, everyone gave me like, a certain percentage of all their money a few times a year.
—Why would they do that?
—To fund my lifestyle basically. I’d have a pretty luxurious lifestyle with all that money. Plus, everyone’s already talking about giving me some of their food. Why not give me some money too?
—Why would everyone pay for you to have a great life like that?
—I suppose I’d be a figurehead of sorts. Someone to look up to and make decisions.
—What kind of decisions?
—You know, stuff like naming this village after me, making a law where I get first dibs on all the maidens. Oh, and I can't forget building that castle everyone’s talking about. Decisions like that.
//
—Hey there maiden, want to go out to a tavern with me sometime?
—No.
—What if I told you I’d make you queen?
—What’s a queen?
—Kind of my counterpart. Everyone’s been talking about letting me live this life where I’m rich and don’t work. I know. Crazy, right? But everyone’s saying it. And I’d let you tag along.
—That would be nice. And we’d be married?
—Of course.
—And you wouldn’t have any other maidens besides me?
—Oh no, no, no. I’d have many other maidens.
//
—Say, how are the mines these days?
—Not too bad. Well, I mean they’re pretty dark. And dangerous. But you can find some good ore down there, so not too bad.
—If you don’t mind, could you melt down some gold for me and make it into a pointy hat?
—What? Why a pointy hat?
—Sorry, I probably didn’t explain it well enough. It’s not one big point, it's like a lot of little points in a circle. I think it’d be a good thing for me to wear around while I’m collecting taxes.
—What are taxes?
—It’s a new thing everyone’s been saying we’re gonna start doing. But if you make me the crown I won’t make you pay as much.
—I guess I’ll get started then.
//
—Hey, you’re a seamstress, right?
—I am.
—Could you make me a silk robe? And maybe an ermine coat. I think they’d look good together.
—Those are awfully expensive materials. Why do you even want an outfit like that?
—To distinguish myself from the peasants.
—What are peasants?
—That’s just a word I’ve been workshopping. It means like, all ‘you people.’
—What people?
—Like, the ‘not me’ people.
—I’m lost.
—Try to get those robes done soon. I have a date with the queen coming up.
