posts
first drafts of the grinch
25 Dec 2024first drafts of the grinch
25 Dec 2024"What you might not know is that the Grinch we all love isn’t the original. In fact, there were a bunch of other drafts before old Seuss landed on the final version of the Grinch."
"What you might not know is that the Grinch we all..."
the white house would like to apologize for this year's turkey pardon
28 Nov 2024the white house would like to apologize for this year's turkey pardon
28 Nov 2024"We were not aware that not only did the turkey know how to use a gun, but it had used one to rob several local businesses."
"We were not aware that not only did the turkey..."
some potions are better than others
18 Nov 2024some potions are better than others
18 Nov 2024"The Lava Potion, which lets you wade through lava, sounds really cool at first. But then you realize, how often am I even around lava? And when I am, how often do I want to wade through it?"
"The Lava Potion, which lets you wade through lava, sounds really..."
the world's most annoying clockmaker
15 Aug 2024the world's most annoying clockmaker
15 Aug 2024"How about this? The grandfather clock. It’s a clock that’s just like your grandfather. It smokes cigars and tells me I’m a disappointment?"
"How about this? The grandfather clock. It’s a clock that’s just..."
i opened my own zoo because that's where the money is
13 Jul 2024i opened my own zoo because that's where the money is
13 Jul 2024"Some zoos trade animals around to keep things fresh. But none of the zoos I talked to were willing to trade a rhinoceros for my ant farm."
"Some zoos trade animals around to keep things fresh. But..."